Yesterday was spent at feb's place
trimmed her bangs for her
talktalktalk
left for town

Didnt get to catch WHEN IN ROME
idiot leo
dinner with gab, frolicked at cine

Gab said that loser was in cine too
yeah where else right, on a saturday night
why am I not surprised

The opp of cine opened
I'd die to skate there
but skating now HAHA what a joke
my board will dissolve into thin air
if monsie and the rest ever says they wanna skate again
I hate how I try so hard for them
and they barely try or don't even at all

Im being a bitch
I'm fickle minded.
I shouldnt had stepped out of my circle
NO I shouldnt had allowed gab to do it
He shouldnt had picked his friend either
Sisi and him was wrong in pushing him to me

And he's in the wrong as well
whats up with the rainbows and all
like why talk about me
who the hell do you think you are
to come affect and distract me this way

The term (people around me) refers to mainly gab and sisi
now that I'm upset, I can turn to either
because they'r happy
I cant just go and make them upset as me

I feel way not matured saying all this
I'm being a loser

Saying something even more childish now
which is
FML

I seriously don't know what I want

7:03 PM

Im sure sisi and gab doesnt know
how everytime they quarrel so oftenly
I get hurt.
I end up fixing everything.
Because I need/have to.

And Im so sick and tired of it
I cry for myself.
I fall sick.
I neglect myself.

And because it takes so much of my effort to make them happy
I can't afford to make them upset
I can't tell them when I'm sad
afraid that I might need to take even more energy
to fix them when I already need fixing myself

I feel suffocated.
That I can't find anyone to tell these to.
I can only tell God every night before I sleep.

I just want to cry till I fall asleep without knowing

Yet I can't.
There's a chinese lecture to attend tmr morning
" A1s for O lvl chinese"

I hope feb woulnt cancel my trip to her house
cuz it will most prolly be the fourth or fifth time
she cancels on me last minute
and that leaves me stranded.

Just breathe and Believe
Its the only thing I can do

1:17 AM

I deleted all the old post
Its a whole new start.

I am drained.

I am sick of being there for sisi and bestfr
as in when they quarrel.

I'm too tired, I'm falling sick

And you, you turn out to be a disappointment
I must be one to you as well right

10:27 PM

Yesterday was spent at feb's place
trimmed her bangs for her
talktalktalk
left for town

Didnt get to catch WHEN IN ROME
idiot leo
dinner with gab, frolicked at cine

Gab said that loser was in cine too
yeah where else right, on a saturday night
why am I not surprised

The opp of cine opened
I'd die to skate there
but skating now HAHA what a joke
my board will dissolve into thin air
if monsie and the rest ever says they wanna skate again
I hate how I try so hard for them
and they barely try or don't even at all

Im being a bitch
I'm fickle minded.
I shouldnt had stepped out of my circle
NO I shouldnt had allowed gab to do it
He shouldnt had picked his friend either
Sisi and him was wrong in pushing him to me

And he's in the wrong as well
whats up with the rainbows and all
like why talk about me
who the hell do you think you are
to come affect and distract me this way

The term (people around me) refers to mainly gab and sisi
now that I'm upset, I can turn to either
because they'r happy
I cant just go and make them upset as me

I feel way not matured saying all this
I'm being a loser

Saying something even more childish now
which is
FML

I seriously don't know what I want

7:03 PM
throughthehorror